And God said unto Abraham, “Abraham.”
And Abraham replied, “What.”
God said to John, “Come forth and receive eternal life.” But John came fifth and won a toaster.
And Judas approached the rabbis and Pharisees saying, “The one whom I kiss is the one you seek.”
To which they responded, “Gay.”
And thus, god made Eve. And she was bammin’ slammin’ bootylicious.
see you all in hell
This right here, ladies and gentlemen, just might be the best beauty-and-beast-story ever.
Because any little girl (or boy for that matter) should grow up knowing that you could be a giant green ogre, and you’d still be bloody gorgeous to the ones that matter. And not in the “oh, I can overlook your flaws” -kind of way. But in the “those aren’t flaws, they are beauty spots!”-kind of way.
the donkey fucked a dragon
MY WHOLE LIFE IS A LIE
This is a blatant violation of trust
YOU LYING FUCKS I SPENT MY WHOLE LIFE ADMIRING THE BRICK LAYERS THAT ALWAYS LAY THE BRICKS NEAT AND PERFECTLY LINED UP HOLY SHIT I LOOK UP TO YOU HOW COULD YOU
I guess we shouldn’t mention this either then…
did u ppl seriously think that they would individually lay down thousands of bricks?????
Life hack: be a decent fucking person.